The Direct Mkting Assoc. has announced that it encourages its members "either refrain from conducting unsolicited e-mail and telephone marketing campaigns on Wednesday, September 11, or conduct those campaigns with the utmost caution and respect on this solemn day of remembrance."

The DMA notes that to "many Americans may not wish to receive any marketing messages on that day."

We here at Kitty Joyce can appreciate this sentiment. Here at Kitty Joyce headquarters, telemarketers inevitably ring right into our dinner hour, at around 8 p.m. It's very sensitive of them to allow us this day of rest, particularly at this difficult time. We do wonder, however, if anything can be done about the other 364 days of the year.

Be that as it may; at Kitty Joyce, we, too, wish to respect the nation's sentiments, whatever they may be (except for the people who want us to eat more kale. We don't respect that sentiment). So we pledge to you, our loyal constituency, that we, too, will refrain from direct marketing on the anniversary of our national tragedy.

You will receive no spam, no telephone calls, no irritating flyers on your windshield from us. We will also refrain from national advertising, billboard painting, and Burma-shave style road signage on that day. Furthermore, we will abstain from sending you catalogs, free samples, and "Have you seen me"? flyers.

We won't try to sell you things that burn you, or cause bloating, or cause a serious illness. We will send no spam and pop no pop-up ads. We will sell no wine before its time.

We hope you appreciate it.