All right. Don't say I never warned you. San Francisco is NOT THAT WARM. Even though it's California, it's chilly. Except when it's hot. Bring sweaters. Pashmina is your friend.

Also, proper footgear is important. New, blister-inducing high-heeled work shoes do not cut it for climbing steep hills. Also, shrieking and grabbing at random passerbys only draws attention to the fact that you almost fell down Telegraph Hill.

Thirdly, respect the other tourists. When fellow hotel guests dash through the lobby and delightedly photograph themselves with members the SF Fire Department, who are responding to a false alarm in your hotel at 7:45 a.m., do not sneer. Try to maintain your indulgent smile.

You like Indonesian food, especially those balls of fried fish.

You certainly learned a lot at the comics exhibition at the Yerba Buena Center for the Arts. If only they'd had a gift shop! Oh well, don't forget to follow up on Blue Monday.

Other stuff you don't want to forget:

Early Christmas shopping, anyone?

Best beads in the West. I asked the nice man behind the counter how many boxes of beads he has. He smiled as if he'd heard the question before, sighed and said, "Oh, I've lost count."

Purveyors of fine books. Time to curl up with a good Henry James novel for the autumn.

Smile for the camera and applaud like popcorn. Our visit to Tech TV and the freewheelin' Screensavers was memorable.

Finally, remember to e-mail your friends and thank them for all their hospitality. Hutton and Hutton, Jason, and John and Angie all showed us a swell time.

On the windowsills of Coit Tower, legions of people have left coins. I tried to scrape some out for the travel fund, but Eric said we would be arrested.

We learned how to say "hamburger" in eight different languages.

"Stop 'stairing' at me!"

Remember those great 7Up signs? You just don't see cutting edge design work like that these days. Eric ponders where postmodernism has taken us.