If we want to spend eternity in happiness,
well, we're gonna have watch ourselves.

The Mountain Goats tell us, "There are no Pan-Asian supermarkets down in hell" and the same must be said about Fort Myers, I regret to say.

But that doesn't mean there's nothing to do. We bird spotted in a nature preserve; genius spotted at Thomas Edison's house; and visited a restored 1928 Pullman car parked outside the Fort Myers Historical Museum.

Not shown: my parents and me standing at the back of the car and waving, like Truman. This actually happened, although it is exactly the kind of thing I would make up if it hadn't.

To have a private car, of course, you had to be well heeled. Mostly because the thing was so well paneled. This hallway led to a dining room, complete with formal dining table.

The kitchen was the size of a telephone booth, and the ventilation, by today's standards, left much to be desired.

Look at all of this leg room! After spending 2.5 hours being jammed into the smallest possible space on an airplane a few days before, surrounded by shrieking and vomiting children (they must send them all to Florida), this seems to me the way to travel.

if thine enemy oppresseth you,
you must let him oppress you some more
so that when you go shopping in paradise,
you'll find those magnificent peanuts from Singapore.

Alas, I did not see the manatee this trip. Maybe next time!

Closer to home, the city of Pullman is also reputed to be a fun area to visit. Who's up for a field trip?

...but the streets of heaven are lined with shelves
and there's billboards of the golden boy everywhere.