February 22, 2003
Don't Tell Me; I'll Tell You

While buying a book at Borders last night, the cashier asked if I wanted to be on the Borders e-mail newsletter list.

I said no, but the question gave me pause. While I understand the general idea, I can't imagine why I would ever want to receive a newsletter from Borders, or B&N, or any bookstore.

I want:
a) bookstores to be open when I'm around and need to buy presents or magazines;
b) bookstores to carry books and magazines that I might want to buy
c) as little conversation about these processes as possible. I don't want things to be suggested and I don't want to hear about promotions, events, and sales. I want to buy things when I want them and otherwise, I want to be left alone.

And yet, instead of being left alone, I am deluged with communications from stores and businesses, all clamoring for a piece of my consciousness. If I let them all in, my mental space would be more crowded than North Center real estate (that was a little North Side joke for my Chicago friends).

But this is hard hearted, isn't it? Poor vendors, they're just doing their jobs. Perhaps the next time I go to Borders, I will ask if they would like an e-mail newsletter from me. If they want to cater to my needs as a consumer, they'll have to read it. It will tell them what they need to know about me, without going into sticky details like my income level and personal e-mail address.

Example:
Welcome to the February 2003 issue of the B&W Report! Here's what you need to know to serve me better:

After a lackluster January and a cold-ridden first week of February, consumer spending in the B&W sector unexpectedly went on the upswing in the middle of the month. Officials attribute this peak to a very cute beaded sweater in that shop in San Diego and an unfortunate series of events that caused my wrist watch to end up in the washing machine.

Experts predict moderate growth in spending in March, depending on the weather and the international situation. If all goes well, B&W might invest in some new spring clothes. If the political situation gets much worse, however, expect B&W spending to go into a slump and me to go to bed early.

Trends to watch:
B&W needs to learn about non-profit globalization, a term we believe may be an oxymoron, but for which we await confirmation;
B&W has had enough of Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck;
B&W wishes it had more time to listen to music, practice for dance class, and finish reading a book. It wishes it could spend less time sitting in the car and in the airport;
Long term indicators are positive for detangler, Chanel No. 19, and gardening equipment.

That's it for the B&W Report. See you next month. And remember, don't tell me...I'll tell you.

Posted at February 22, 2003 11:47 AM
Comments

I have to say that I don't mind them asking, and I actually do enjoy quite a large number of things being emailed to me. It bugs me a lot more when I buy some simple item and they ask for my zip code, or those damn "preferred card" things. Everytime I go to the grocery store and they ask for one, I happened to "forget it" at home.

Posted by: brian on February 23, 2003 10:00 AM

I get the Borders newsletter. I will say on their behalf, that it is sent very infrequently, and occasionally there's something of use to me considering I never have access to bookstores easily where I live, and I'm ill-informed about new releases.

Although, if I had a choice, I'd rather read the B&W newsletter 'cuz it makes me laugh more. :-)

Posted by: Laurie on February 24, 2003 01:03 AM

It's funny how we all have a different tolerance, isn't it? I (reluctantly) use the preferred cards at the grocery. So I suppose AgriCom Inc. is right up on the (aggregated) information that someone in my zip code eats an awful lot of peanut butter.

Posted by: Anne on February 24, 2003 06:10 PM

Ok, I take it back. I bought books last night at Borders and I was offered their newsletter. It was annoying.

Posted by: Brian on February 27, 2003 11:07 AM
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