I ritualistically save (but do not often read) those statements I get periodically from the government telling me how much I've paid into Social Security over my lifetime and how much I can expect to receive. Some day when I am feeling really strong, I will take a long hard look at them and try to figure out how I can possibly save up enough money to finance retirement. Even if I give up essentials like hair conditioner and magazines, it's hard to imagine how I'm going to do it. While I'm waiting for better rates of return, it might be fun to try what may be the next big thing in personal finance: corporate sponsorship.

This may be an idea whose time has not yet come, but look at it this way: Sooner or later, the corporations are going to run out of stadiums and ampitheaters and public squares to buy naming rights to. Just imagine the viral marketing potential waiting to break loose if you could get someone to sponsor your day-to-day life.

Imagine, for instance, that I am sponsored by a name-brand soft drink, like Fanta. I could wear a Fanta T-shirt on casual days. I could use the Fanta logo on my personal stationery and, say, maybe the cell phone. I could get a Fanta-colored car, once I figured out what color that was. Of course I could bring Fanta to all parties and serve it to my guests. And I certainly could make a big splash on the job. "Thanks for dialing into this conference call, everybody. And remember, my presence here is made possible by a generous grant from Fanta."

I'd better get started scoping out potential buyers. Remember, as Tom Peters says, it's all about the brand called "me." Or rather, the me called "Fanta."

(Memo to self: They still make Fanta, don't they? Check on this.)