Before breakfast in London, E. ran out every morning to buy a Guardian at the corner newsstand. Over cereal and cranberry juice, I discovered an unexpected delight: Tim Dowling's Permachat "Chatroom of the week" columns, in which prototypical chatroom denizens attempt (more or less) to discuss serious issues of the day. Here's my favorite, in which the name of Geoffrey Hoon, the government's defense secretary, becomes sort of a mantra of cluelessness (you really must read the whole thing. Go on, it's short).

LadeezMan: so your name aint Tracy then
jenni@boughtledger: I'll just do everything myself shall I
bitracy: no it's Martin.
LadeezMan: oh
Pashmina: hi martin
bitracy: hi
Host_Chris2: let's return to the topic people
Bronco: hoon