Things I heard at my 20-year high school reunion:

"Tell me if you think ***'s husband looks like an axe murderer."
"I remember him, he used to pick his nose. He did it in public. He'd say 'yeah, I pick my nose.'"
"Didn't you come out to my house in LA a few years ago?" "No, I've never been west of St. Louis."
"She was the only person I knew who had walked in on her parents having sex."
"I'm only staying an hour." (Three hours later) "Did I mention I'm leaving now?"
"There's a lot of karmic justice at work here tonight."
"WHOO! In two years we'll be 40!"